


Home is Out There

by InquisitivePathfinder



Category: Mass Effect, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/F, this was meant to be a few drabbles and then took on a life all its own
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-26 18:04:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10791879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InquisitivePathfinder/pseuds/InquisitivePathfinder
Summary: When Sara peers in the doorway, she finds Suvi’s attention entirely devoted on a datapad, fingers flying without a second of hesitation. She lingers in the doorway, leaning on it in an attempt to look casual even as her damnable nerves kick in, heart hammering a double beat while part of her mind automatically measures a known distance to maintain for safety.Safety from what, though?Talking to Suvi should not trip the same parts of her brain as engaging an enemy did...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally this was meant to be a short series of drabbles, but then it very much took off with me chasing hopelessly behind it. I have a lot of love for this pairing, and couldn't help myself in trying to offer some possibilities for the many blanks, questions and loose ends the canon material leaves in its wake. My general feeling for a lot of the characters was wanting more. More chances for them to interact, and more opportunities for them to respond to some rather monumental events in the game. As we go it really will be an ensemble cast, but Suvi/Ryder will always be my touchstone and underlying motive.
> 
> An inherent challenge with a character such as Ryder is that everyone comes out with someone a little different as their 'canon' character in game. Hopefully I do her some justice when she appears more, starting in the next chapter.

 Finding questions can sometimes be more thrilling than deciphering answers. Learning that you don’t know something? That opens up a world of possibilities. It offers a chance to see things in a completely new way, with pieces missing that are now yours to search for. 

That feeling, it gets Suvi up in the morning. Sometimes it gets her up in the middle of the night if a thought happens to demand immediate attention. To her, one of the beautiful things about questions is that while some may have definitive answers, others don’t.

For example...

What is it that allows civilisation to function? What acts as it’s bedrock? The foundation on which to build? Ask that question and you likely know to expect a vast array of answers, all depending on who you happen to talk to.

Immediate and obvious responses wander into the abstract. They are ideas or concepts instead of tangible things. Qualities like empathy or intelligence, values such as freedom or cooperation. Equally apparent if less metaphorical answers might be more practically physical: oxygen, energy sources or water.

People always represent an intangible factor of any equation they enter, both in the form of answers and questions.

How would society manifest itself in Helius? That was yet to be seen, and would remain so for centuries. Still, it’s a question that often claws its way into the back of Suvi’s mind. The Initiative makes grand, sweeping promises. All of which are incredibly well intentioned if perhaps a tad fairy tale. But maybe that is what makes it so beautiful a picture: the almost limitless optimism that an unprecedented endeavour such as this requires.

If someone asked her what it is that drives the Initiative right now, though, her answer would have to be much less profound or thought provoking than she’d like it to be.

It isn’t the hope imbued by the promise of fresh starts and new beginnings. It isn’t the dream of seeing an entirely new galaxy. It isn’t even an intrepid sense of discovery and adventure.

The simple fact is that the overworked and understaffed offices of the Initiative are not being sustained on the power of belief, but on caffeine.

“Please come with me, Doctor Anwar.”

The aide’s voice is coated in a reflexive sugary tone. She mutters some manner of introduction - including her name and official job title - but not loudly enough for Suvi to catch. The unfortunate woman is much more concerned with the broken coffee machine than she is by Suvi’s arrival. The deep purple bags lining her eyes offer ample explanation as to why this is the case.

The small and unremarkable entryway office sweeps through to a series of twisting corridors with dozens of doors on either side. The downward grade is slight, but she can make out based on the angle that they are slowly descending more than one story underground. Eventually, the corridor funnels them onto a platform overlooking a large, open space below.

Two men lean on the railing, both focusing intently on the area before them, they continue to trade words spoken too lowly for Suvi to overhear as she approaches. The aide beckons to the older man, clearing her throat tentatively to gain his attention. Both men turn to face them, the older of the two regarding Suvi carefully. His weighing eyes make it clear he’s taking her measure, assessing her before they even share a word.

“Doctor Anwar, this is Alec Ryder, Human Pathfinder and developer of the Simulated Adaptive Matrix, or SAM. Pathfinder Ryder, may I introduce Doctor Suvi Anwar. She has recently been recruited to the Nexus Science Team. Doctor Aridana suggested that the two of you be introduced, as Doctor Anwar will be overseeing analysis on the Nexus of information your team gathers in the field.”

The Pathfinder responds by schooling his face into what must be his approximation of welcoming. “Pleased to make your acquaintance, Doctor Anwar. I’ve read parts of your dissertation.”

He offers his hand mechanically, a gesture his body must be hardwired to make by now. Suvi takes it, meeting his firm grip as evenly as possible. “A pleasure to meet you as well. _Which_ of my dissertations is it that you’ve read?” She already knew the answer to that. She could likely even guess the page range he’d taken the time to peruse. The question was the point in this case, however, not the answer. It serves as an innocent reminder that she is more than whatever ‘useful’ pieces of herself the Pathfinder has already reduced her to in his mind.

The younger man huffs a slight laugh, flashing her an impressed smile and an affirming nod.

“Your work on biophysical cybernetics. Mostly the ninth chapter,” Alec clarifies bluntly.

Exactly what she had expected, though he would have missed out on the theoretical framework she’d laid out in the introductory chapters.

“It was an interesting choice not to remain with your team when they were recruited into Project Notos.”

Alec Ryder knowing what should have been deeply classified information? Why is she not surprised in the slightest?

“I had no shortage of work or opportunity to follow my own projects,” she answers carefully. 

Alec’s mouth twitches slightly, but he decides to keep to whatever comment he might have made to himself. Instead he inclines his head curtly towards the younger man. “This is my son, Scott. He’ll be a part of my Pathfinder Team,” he points over his shoulder to the open area beyond, “my daughter, Sara, will also be joining us. Some of the others down there may be recruited as well. They are going through initial testing.”

What was likely once a warehouse now acted as a training area with crates, girders and all manner of debris littering the proxy battlefield. The person Alec had pointed to is carefully wedged on top of one of the tallest stacks of crates in the room. Even Suvi can tell the spot offers an excellent line of sight while keeping her concealed thanks to the metal beam leaning heavily upright against the stack.

“Oh, this should be good,” Scott remarks excitedly. He returns to his place back at the rail, motioning an invitation for Suvi to join him. Alec’s attention fixes back to the scene as well. Two men are doing their best to comb a careful path across the uneven ground, watching each other’s back as they go. Their steps are wary, guns moving back and forth erratically, expecting trouble but clearly having no idea where it might come from.

“She’ll have them in three, two-” a pair of shots drown out Scott’s ‘one.’ Both men are knocked from their feet by the impact, even with blank training ammunition. Matching marks register on their helmets, glowing brightly against the low lighting.

“Nice job, Sara!” Scott calls down to her, earning him a loose wave from his sister. She holsters her rifle before leaping down gracefully from her perch to help her victims to their feet.

“You’d _both_ be well on your way through ICT by now if she hadn’t insisted on doing more school and chasing old relics,” Alec grumbles, forgetting or not caring that Suvi and the aide are present.

“No, actually we wouldn’t. You might remember why we were both unemployed when you sent _SAM_ to track us down out of nowhere, Dad?” Scott’s friendly demeanour melts as he speaks, warmth replaced by bitterness as he crosses his arms tightly over his chest.

Alec bristles but offers no reply to his son. “Send my regards to Doctor Aridana. I’m sure we’ll see more of each other, Doctor Anwar.” 

The dismissal, and disinterest are clear.

“Forender and Gavorn can be removed from the screening process. If they can’t find Sara in a contained room they’re not cut out for this. Tell Harper to get Kirkland and Fischer back, at least they made you two put some effort in,” Alec tells Scott gruffly as the doors shut behind Suvi.

“He can be an acquired taste,” the aide sighs once they make their way safely out of earshot.

“I can see that,” Suvi agrees sympathetically.  A muted thought crosses her mind that handling Alec Ryder on a regular basis might require something stronger than plain old coffee.

“I can’t quite understand how the kids factor into his picture. They’re twins you know, and _they_ seem close, but maybe you have to be with a father like that. His dabbling in AI cost all of them a great deal,” the aide muses.

‘Dabbling’ was putting it beyond lightly. Suvi read everything she could get her hands on regarding SAM and the proposed accompanying implants. Even with her new clearances as part of the Initiative, there wasn't much available. SAM and the Pathfinder implants… _revolutionary_ would be too common a phrase for them.  Alec Ryder’s work is undoubtedly ground breaking, but in many ways, that is because some ground remains intentionally untouched. How things would work out remained to be seen, for now all she can do is keep an open mind.

“What did they do before the Initiative brought them on?” she asks conversationally.  Her curiosity is genuine, the three beg many questions. It was impossible to go a day without hearing someone attached to the Initiative talk about _Pathfinder Ryder_. He inspired a deep confidence in many, acting as a beacon and a bedrock to lay hopes against.  Alec Ryder had answers, ideas and _dreams_. People were willing to follow him for that, they believed he could lead them through it all.

In a single, _short_ encounter, the man’s son could not have made it clearer he did not feel that way about his father. 

“Scott was a soldier in the Alliance.  Made it up through _official_ ICT training to an N3 designation. Spent most of his active service stationed at a mass effect relay before he was discharged in the fallout of his father’s dismissal.” 

“Official ICT training?”

“The Pathfinder is- _was_ technically- an N7. Rumours fly around that he put both his kids through more than a bit of off the books training even if they don’t have a badge to show for it. Everyone looks at those kids and thinks ‘nepotism,’ but the more I see them in and out of that training arena, the more I am inclined to disagree.”

Suvi had also immediately questioned Alec's motives and intent. Families were signing on to the Initiative in abundance, it only made sense. But the Pathfinder Teams were hardly comparable to most positions within the Initiative. For all the taglines and buzzwords focused on Pathfinders acting as welcoming representatives and intrepid explorers, it did not take a pair of doctorates to read between the lines and see the Pathfinder Teams as the Initiative’s iteration of a special force unit. Especially when you had access to the files of the people being recruited.

Led by a former N7? Second in command a powerful human biotic who served with Asari commandos? The entire team Ryder was assembling had some history of military service, even if they only served in a support capacity.

“Sara spent a couple years at some prestigious university on Earth before she joined a Prothean dig team as an Alliance Peacekeeper. She went back to the school after she was quietly let go. The Pathfinder almost blew a gasket when she put off coming out here to join training so she could graduate. That was _not_ one of my favourite days.”

“He doesn’t seem like the kind of man who takes kindly to not getting his way,” Suvi notes tentatively, receiving a desperate nod in response.

A frazzled looking Silarian with a beeping datapad greets the aide as they arrived at the main entrance. She bids Suvi a polite farewell, casting a mournful look back to the broken coffeemaker before snatching up the datapad without a word to its deliverer.

“Send my regards to Doctor Aridana,” she calls as an afterthought. “Hopefully a few centuries in cold storage might chill Alec Ryder out, eh?”

“We can only hope.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Ideas, _anyone_? I am open to suggestions!”

Sara knows her tone does not befit a _Pathfinder_. It’s desperate, pleading and the words catch as she gasps for breath. She can _feel_ the disapproval radiating from a pair of stormy eyes that will never be able to truly fall on her in judgement again.

But her dad isn’t here. He isn’t pinned on a roof with enemy fire lighting up the air. He doesn’t have to worry about some manner of massive beast prowling the ground around the building, forcing him to remain on the roof in open season for the Kett on all sides.

“A scan may reveal more information, Pathfinder.”

“SAM? You want her to get close enough to that thing to scan it?” Vetra growls she drops to press herself against what little cover they have.

“Pathfinder, SAM and I could determine where it’s more vulnerable if you can manage to get us a scan,” Suvi’s voice offers in her ear, the lilt and softness make a bizarre twist to the bullet whizzing past Sara’s ear.

_I’m good with guns and danger_.

What a stupid thing to say. And what a thing to remember at a time like this, when it’s more than likely she won’t have to live in regret for much longer.

“Ryder, they’ve got one taking point at our six!”

Sara lines up the shot, dropping their would-be flanker as the sound of Cora’s shields shattering echo behind her.

Her decision is made instantly, a desperate gamble. She slides smoothly from cover to the edge of the roof, taking the blessed moment of concealment SAM’s assistance gives her.

Protest comes from every quarter over the comms, but this is her job now, right?

_The tip of the spear_. That was her. She was the point that broke the ground, the point that might blunt or break or buckle, but a spearhead could be replaced - even with a less tempered edge- so long as the haft stayed true behind it.

Habitat 7 proved that. She is currently proving that. From hardened steel to… well, whatever she might be. Not enough. Never enough.

The world stays alarmingly loud even as her mind quiets. She holsters her rifle before touching the ground. It won’t help now; she needs to be fast. A heart sinking roar tells her that she dropped in the right - or _wrong_ \- spot, lumbering steps carrying the massive beast towards her.

The scanner doesn’t faze it, wild eyes not even registering the bright light in its face.

“Scan complete,” SAM declares. Sara tries to leap away, and mostly succeeds, being grazed instead of fully struck by the creature's front leg. It's still enough to shatter her shields with ease and send her flying into a wall.

An explosion of colour bursts around her, Cora appearing from who knows where at her side. She hauls Sara to her feet and all but drags her through the air back to the roof even as the creature rams into where she had been seconds ago.

“Got it, there’s a spot on its flanks where the armour isn’t as dense!” Suvi’s voice cries through the comms. “Hit it there, or right below the jaw, that’s where it's weakest!”

“Vetra, covering fire!” Cora orders.

Gunfire sings from all directions, the incoming shots lessening if only slightly in response. Sara unloads an incendiary clip into the beast’s side, and another, and _another_.

Eventually it comes down, she loses count of how many clips, how many detonations it takes, but she will never forget the sound it makes in its last heaving gasp. Another addition to nightmare worthy material, because Helius hasn’t given her enough of that already.

They pick off the rest of the Kett one by one, finally escaping the roof and fighting their way across the skeleton of Site 2.

“That’s it,” Vetra pants as a last straggler drops in a sickening heap of limbs that its body never would have allowed if it still held life.

“Yeah,” Sara agrees, sliding clumsily to sit against a wall, rifle dropping across her lap. “What’s the status on radiation shielding here?”

“Near failure, Pathfinder,” Suvi informs her.

“So, not a good idea to take my helmet off then.”

“ _No_. Definitely not,” Suvi warns immediately.

“Now you’re checking in to see if something is safe?” Lexi tries to sound irritated, but cannot hide the relief filling her voice. “I want you all back here immediately to get checked out properly.”

“We’ll meet you east of Resilience if Kallo can bring the Tempest down there, just give us a minute.”

Sara tips her head back, helmet clacking on wall. The sky above them remains cloudless, falsely optimistic with its clear and radiant shades of blues. Just like earth, just like a daydream of home.

“Kallo and Gil ran off bickering to the engine room, but the consensus is that we can meet you in ten, Pathfinder. Catch your breath, take a few minutes for yourself. You deserve to have that at least,” Suvi suggests kindly.

“Your voice is a rather nice change to what I usually have to listen to out here,” Sara offers absently.

Suvi lets out a slight laugh over the comm. “Well I imagine it's nice to have someone giving you answers instead of more problems.”

“That’s a definite plus, too, I guess.”

Suvi makes a small huff of surprise before the comm goes quiet again.

“Ryder, we should move. You good?” Cora asks, still bracing her shotgun warily in her arms.

Vetra offers her a hand up, the three staying close as they pick their way to the Nomad. Ghosts remain around them, but at least they are not among them. Not yet.


	3. Chapter 3

After what could only be considered a success (if an admittedly unorthodox one, inexplicable near instant alien terraforming and all...) on Eos, Ryder’s return to the Nexus offers a stark contrast to her first arrival. Anyone who considers themselves anyone await the Tempest as she docks. All rush to give congratulations. Those who can begin volunteering supplies and new equipment.

Is it a show of newfound confidence? An expression of institutional support?

Or is it a desperate bid at PR? A political gambit to be seen assisting the only person to get results in months?

Some combination thereof, Suvi concludes. Her experiences dealing with the hierarchy during the Uprising have left her more than slightly jaded with their methods and motives. The Pathfinder presents an unexpected wild card to the gridlocked Leadership of the Nexus, and they are all bent to use her as such for their own ends.

What Suvi suspects none of them – even Ryder – realise yet is that she is more of a player in her own right than a pawn for someone else to move.

It takes most of an afternoon to round up everything newly earmarked for their use, and a few more hours to get it all aboard the Tempest. The entire crew pitches in despite the Director’s protest at Ryder’s participation.

Their Pathfinder utterly ignores Tann as he explains how detrimental to her budding and fragile image it could be if she is seen doing _menial labour_ by the wrong sort. The only response she ever makes is to eventually heft the heaviest crate she can manage right in front of his face before striding off to the Tempest with it.

Kesh looks ready to kiss her for that.

Now came the final job of _organising_ all the new arrivals, or at least moving them out of the way. Half of what they’d taken on board before leaving for Eos is still stacked in the cargo bay, time having yet offered itself in enough abundance to sort anything but the essentials.

“I’m not wearing that,” Ryder’s voice waivers but remains unbroken as it cracks the busied silence. She drops the lid clumsily on the crate in front of her before taking several steps back in a shaken retreat.

Gil shares a confused look with Suvi, both obviously wondering what Ryder found to upset her so clearly.

Drack trudges over, pushing the lid off the crate. He takes a moment, looking first to the content and then to Ryder. “Kid, you aren’t gonna find a better set of armour than that and you need all the protection you can get. This whole system is dangerous at the best of times and you have a knack for attracting even more trouble,” he reasons.

“I _can’t_. That’s my _Dad’s_ ,” Sara rasps. “Besides, I never earned it. Probably never would have. I can’t walk around with that on.”

Cora approaches the two cautiously, eyeing Sara before she peers into the crate. A low whistle leaves her lips as she lifts a chestpiece almost reverently.

“ _Wow_ ,” Gil mutters next to her, both taking in the N7 badge emblazoned proudly on it. 

“Drack is right, Ryder,” Cora agrees solemnly. 

Tentatively, Gil eases his way over to join them, examining the rest of the pieces that make up the set. “Someone put a lot of work into modifying this to fit you, Ryder,” he tells her kindly.

“And I appreciate the thought. Doesn’t make it less wrong for me to wear it.”

Drack shakes his head, though not unkindly. “Kid, Andromeda doesn’t know to play by any supposed rules the Milky Way has. We cover the badge with something if it really bothers you, but the next time your squashable self leaves the ship to get shot at you’d better be wearing this. I still can’t believe what a piece of junk they sent you off to Eos in. This is what a Pathfinder is meant to wear. That means _you_.”

“I can put a plate over the badge no problem, Ryder,” Gil offers before adding quickly, “nothing permanent, we won’t deface it in any way. Fully respect what it is and what it meant to your Dad.”

“It’s a piece of him,” Suvi finally dares to add, joining the group by the crate.  “Whatever else went on between you, Ryder, he wanted you safe. He may never have gotten to chase his new stars and unseen horizons, but you can take a piece of him - a piece he cherished - with you into that unknown.”

Ryder is somehow smaller in this moment, seeming to physically draw away from them all without moving an inch. Not one of them rush her, giving her the time to think and gather herself back together that life seems determined to deny her more often than not. “Okay,” she finally agrees almost too quietly to hear.

“Great, let’s go see about a cover plate.” Gil claps Ryder on the shoulder before putting an arm around her to steer her to the lift. “Cora, mind grabbing the chestpiece?”

“Oh sure, Gil, leave me with the heavy lifting.”

Gil tosses her a teasing salute. “Gotta put those guns of yours to good use, Lieutenant.”

Liam turns on his music from somewhere as the three disappear to the research room. The song is clearly meant to oust any lingering questions that hang in the air. Suvi remains by the crate, running a hand over the marked stripes of the right pauldron.

“I’d love to have a _chat_ with whatever idiot decided to send the poor Kid her dead dad’s armour without so much as a word about it,” Drack rumbles.

All Suvi can do is nod. The empty armour serves as the ultimate proof that Alec Ryder is gone. What kept him safe for so long in life has been changed, never to fit him again. It’s now his daughter’s burden to bear, she must physically fill his vacant space as well as his mantle as Pathfinder.

“Is the standard Initiative armour really as bad as you said?”

“Heh, most of the armour you humans can handle seems like parading around in paper to me, but yeah that crap is pretty low grade. Stinks of mass production. Pieces don’t even fit right because it's meant to be easy to throw on anyone.” 

“We’ve got the materials and the means to run our own R&D now. We’ll craft better equipment for ourselves and get everyone outfitted properly,” Suvi promises.

“Good plan, Anwar. Ryder and Harper seem tougher than a lot of humans - don’t tell them I said that - but they need all the help they can get.”

“My lips are sealed.”

Drack grates a huff before shaking his head. “It’s probably better Ryder doesn’t realise what her tin soldier look said about Tann and Addison’s thoughts on her. They obviously didn’t believe she was worth their precious resources before. All they did was slap a different coat of paint on their new Pathfinder before sending her out somewhere they’d already screwed up twice. May as well have put a ‘please shoot at this one’ invitation on her.”

“You disagree with them,” Suvi realises as she says it. He isn’t the only one, but Drack harbours little if any willingness to muzzle his thoughts. Spades are spades and fools are fools. She can appreciate that kind of honesty after so much double speak and corporate phrasing for months on the Nexus.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think she was worth taking a risk on, and I’m not the only one. Vetra only gambles when she figures she can win. The overexcited Asari that Ryder picked up has her own agenda and believes the Pathfinder is her best chance to further it. Addison is damn right that Ryder’s not her Dad. Met him a few times and he might have been smart and a good soldier but he was also an ass. You think Peebee would be on this ship if he’d come tromping through those old ruins and found her?”

“Probably not, he wasn’t always the best at first impressions.”

“Ha! You’re too kind. I can tell from your face he didn’t even bother to put his more _charming_ mask on when you met him. Helius isn’t what we imagined in any of our addled daydreams of new starts and fresh frontiers. That means we’re gonna to need answers that we also never thought up. Ryder has managed that so far, but she’ll need all of our help to keep going.”

“She has mine,” Suvi promises.

“Mine, too. For now at least,” Drack follows. “Now we’d better get back to it before Vetra stashes all the cereal where we’ll never find it.”

“I would never,” Vetra insists quickly.

Her crooked grin instantly betrays her attempts at innocence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found out that Bradly questions Ryder's use of N7 armour after writing the first draft of this a couple weeks back, and the interaction made it seem even more appropriate... My knowledge of the wider ME lore is admittedly lacking but I am trying to pick up on the more important aspects so as to avoid really screwing something up here.
> 
> I'm so glad people seem to be enjoying this fic. I know the Suvi/Ryder content is lacking thus far but I wanted to take things chronologically. I do like the slower pacing of their relationship and hoped to keep that up as tempting as it was to go off to the races. From here on in there is a lot more of them interacting, either with others or off on their own.


	4. Chapter 4

“You’re good at a lot of things, Anwar, but you’re a terrible cook,” Peebee manages to sound kindly bemused while making the cutting remark. Her earnest tone softening the blow.

The way Peebee spoke compared to how she worked serves as a study in contrasts, one which continues to baffle Sara. Watching their energetic tagalong toil with Remtech revealed an incredibly delicate and deliberate technique that Ryder envies and intends to learn from.  Speaking to her, on the other hand, could feel like a bucket of cold water to the face: shocking and uncomfortable... if occasionally refreshing under the right circumstances.

Suvi mutters something in reply that Sara can’t quite catch on the walkway to the bridge. She barely makes another step before Suvi dashes from the kitchen across to the crew quarters.

Kallo can wait a few more minutes, right?

When Sara peers in the doorway, she finds Suvi’s attention entirely devoted on a datapad, fingers flying without a second of hesitation. She lingers in the doorway, leaning on it in an attempt to look casual even as her damnable nerves kick in, heart hammering a double beat while part of her mind automatically measures a known distance to maintain for safety. 

Safety from what, though?

Talking to Suvi should _not_ trip the same parts of her brain as engaging an enemy did.

“You don’t have to be good at something to enjoy doing it,” she says after a few moments.

_Damn it, she hadn’t noticed I was here…_

Guilt floods her immediately as Suvi jerks back into the armchair with surprise, dropping her datapad. Somehow, she doesn’t seem upset- though maybe that’s the voice of optimism hoping dumbly in the back of Sara’s head. 

“Sorry…”

Suvi brushes her apology off with a wave of her hand. “It’s fine. I wasn’t getting anywhere.”

“Not getting anywhere? Your fingers were about to break the sound barrier.”

Suvi brightens at the poor joke despite rolling her eyes. She shifts to sit more comfortably again, though she doesn’t retrieve her datapad. Part of Sara wants to get it for her, but that would mean surrendering her distance. Somehow that seems like a bad idea.

“You heard that, then? You’d think that working in a lab might translate well to cooking. I mean really it’s just edible chemistry, right?”

“Maybe you’re just too good at too many things. You had to be stopped somehow and cooking was the line in the sand.”

Suvi raises an eyebrow at her but can’t keep a grin from slowly warming her face.

“I mean it, though. Just because you might not be a five-star chef doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself. We all need things to enjoy. Especially now.”

“Ryder, trying to cosy up with that doorway? Bet it can’t believe its luck. You in or out?”  Liam asks from behind her, not waiting for her to move or even answer before he brushes past.

“Out. I promised Kallo I’d have SAM help him code a flight simulator for the Nexus pilots to train with since he’s not around anymore to do real runs with them.”

“That’s awesome. Great idea,” Liam remarks.

“It is,” Suvi agrees. She holds Sara’s eyes for a second, offering her a soft expression.  “Thank you, Ryder.”

“Anytime.”

She hears Liam asking Suvi why her datapad is on the ground as the door slides shut behind her. Peebee is bickering with Cora outside kitchen, laughter following Cora’s deep sigh.

“Come on, I said ‘just let it ride’ while unknowingly sitting on _Ryder_. Even _you_ have to find that funny.”

“Not really. I almost shot you,” Cora deadpans.

“So your sense of humour is the same place you’ve got your tattoo, then? That being ‘somewhere I’ll never see?’”

“Uhhh,” Cora groans.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I confess that Sara's occasionally mild to major annoyance at Liam's antics through this fic are entirely based on my own feelings... Bless Vetra for bringing up dress code: subsection shirts.

“I’m out of here,” Ryder’s strained voice filters through Cora’s comm in the background. Snickering creeps through the link as well despite Cora’s clear effort to subdue it.

“What’d I miss?” Suvi asks through a grin of her own.

“Kosta will be lucky if Ryder doesn’t dock his nonexistent pay if he tries to start another conversation with her while he’s not wearing a shirt.”

“Certainly can’t say I’m a fan of that habit, either,” Suvi sighs.

“Maybe you lot aren’t but why don’t _I_ ever get any of that?” Gil asks mockingly, the sound of a heavy crate hitting the floor accompanying his arrival. “I think this might be the box you’re looking for, Suvi.”

“Sorry to send you both on a wild goose chase. I’d thought our personal effects would be more clearly labelled.”

“No worries, we had to load the ship up pretty quick on our first trip out. Pretty much threw the last of it all on while Kallo was starting the engines up. Then we dropped even more stuff on top of that a few days back. I still can’t find where half my socks got off to,” Gil complains.

“That explains why you’re always hogging the laundry,” Kallo mutters lowly across the bridge. Suvi shushes him, keen to avoid another argument between their engineer and pilot. Kallo pouts dejectedly as the doors behind them sweep open, Ryder striding onto the bridge.

“It was a miracle I found my stuff so quickly,” she offers sympathetically. Her steps pause slightly, but slowly bring her next to Suvi’s seat. She leans carefully against the metal fixture that usually serves only as a graveyard for empty mugs, toying with the handle of one as she settles.

“What’d you bring from home, Ryder?” Gil asks.

“My jacket and scarf. Mom gave me the jacket. Scott and I got matching scarves on a whim from a street vendor in Rio after we finished ITC for our N1 designations.” Her eyes glaze briefly, undoubtedly wandering through the memories of days now centuries passed. A slight shake of her head seems meant to chase the thoughts away.

A new comm line cracks before Vetra’s voice joins in. “I _knew_ that scarf wasn’t standard issue.  Looks way too soft. I almost asked who you managed to get it off of, Ryder. Had more than one of my contacts comment on it already. I could probably get something real shiny in return for it...”

“Nope. They’re two of a kind in Andromeda. Scott wouldn’t part with his, either.”

“How’s he doing?” Vetra asks kindly.

“Stable. Harry is keeping a very watchful eye on him. He jokes with Lexi that she got the more difficult Ryder of the set but if Scott wakes up he’ll be changing that tune.”

“ _When_ Scott wakes up,” Suvi corrects gently.

“Ryder, you and Scott are two of a kind. You’re both too stubborn to let a coma keep you down for long,” Vetra says it so tenderly that it surprises Suvi. She knows not a day goes by that Vetra doesn’t worry about her own sister, even going as far to once mention that she sometimes wondered if it was a mistake to leave Sid alone on the Nexus. Things have gotten better, _much_ better, but it was hard for any of them that had seen the Uprising to put it entirely out of their minds.

“It could have been me. Nothing but bad luck on Scott’s part that they woke me up first.” 

Sara says it in such a way that it can’t have been a new thought. It’s a confession, one that she’s held to her own judgement for a while before rendering it to others

“You’re still two of a kind, Ryder. You wouldn’t stay down long, either,” Vetra affirms.

Ryder’s face softens slightly before she moves to busy herself at the helm, quickly lost in the cascade of stars that appear around her from the interface.

They leave the unspoken part of what Ryder said untouched. If Scott had been first, he might be standing where she is now. It wasn’t just Scott’s bad luck as she called it that landed him in the med-bay indefinitely. To her, it was also a twist of (maybe bad?) luck that she was the Pathfinder.

“Never mind, Suvi. I was wrong. This is just a bunch of spare parts for the biolab. I’ll keep looking for your stuff,” Gil tells her.

“Not to worry, it’ll turn up eventually,” she considers for a moment before continuing, testing the words in her head, “it might have gotten thrown in here carelessly by someone who didn’t know its worth, but that doesn’t mean it won’t find its way along despite it all.”

Ryder doesn’t look at her, but she pauses from her busy work, head turning a fraction in Suvi’s direction.

“For sure. Between the lot of us, we’ll figure it out,” Gil replies cheerfully.

“I’ve no doubt,” Suvi agrees.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short one, I apologise for that and the longer than usual space between posting. Real life catches up with us all sometimes. Thank you all for the kudos and comments, it is great to think people are enjoying this!

“Well maybe I’m just crazy, then, **”** Sara offers dramatically to the vidcon screen the moment the call disconnects, hazy images of the Initiative’s _esteemed_ leadership unable to fade fast enough from view.

“You’re definitely a bit crazy, Ryder, but that’s exactly what we need,” Cora tells her smugly.

“What does that make you all for following my ass around then?” Sara sighs, shaking her head.

“Oh, we all have our own brand of crazy on this ship for sure. Right, Suvi?”

“Absolutely,” Suvi agrees absentmindedly. Her focus remains utterly devoted to the same set of datapads as it has for the better part of half an hour. Careful fingers follow her progress as her eyes flick rapidly back and forth between the set. There’s probably a decent chance she hadn’t even realised that the Nexus leaders were bickering incessantly for most of the call while Sara failed to get a word in edgewise. Not that that was unusual…

Cora’s face sets cheekily before she flashes Sara their usual hand signal for her to follow Cora’s lead. “I need to put you on the roster for militia operations, don’t I, Suvi? I’m sure that you would make an excellent addition to APEX, a real asset for Kandros.”

“Yeah that’s probably a good idea,” comes the automatic response- she doesn’t even break eye contact with her work for a second.

Sara struggles to contain herself, not wanting to give up their game quite yet as Cora continues. “While we’re at it, maybe I ought to mutiny and jettison Ryder. I’m sure I could get Peebee to collude and she has ready access to an escape pod we can use. No way Ryder could overpower us both.”

Suvi makes some manner of an affirming sound, calculations running almost visibly through her head. Sara utters a mock groan of pain, clutching her chest and Cora breaks, laughter filling the meeting room.

“The hell are you two doing now? Did Kesh give up on trying to play nice with Addison and just squash Spender?” Drack shouts up from the research room.

“Sorry, no such luck,” Sara calls back down.

Suvi finally looks up at them, confusion evident on her face. “Sorry, did you need me for something?”

“Nothing important. I’m just going to go toss Ryder into space on your advice and take over the ship before assigning you to APEX.”

“Wait, _what_?”

Sara’s laughter is cut short as she feels herself being hauled off her feet from behind, Peebee cackles at the genuine yelp of surprise, hefting Sara over her shoulder.

“I’ll be right back, Suvi. Sit tight and keep working. This won’t take long,” Peebee tells her almost seriously before turning to Cora. “My help obviously has conditions, the first being I want to see you laughing like that at least once a week. You’re cute when you actually smile. Secondly, I want- _Ryder_ , stop squirming I’m trying to negotiate here.”

“You’re negotiating terms for a hostile takeover. I think I’m allowed to do a little more than squirm,” her voice jerks shamefully high on the last word as Peebee feigns dropping her.

“Trade you a bottle of Gil’s latest batch of ale if you let Ryder go?” Suvi asks through a crooked (if upside down from Sara’s point of view) grin before Peebee can return to her haggling.

“Done!”

“Hey wait-” Sara’s protests are cut short as Peebee takes a few quick steps forward and really does drop her. Right at Suvi’s feet.

“Traitor,” Cora snickers.

“Sorry, Harper, that was a good deal. I wasn’t kidding about your smile, though,” Peebee winks, making her exit as quietly as she arrived. Cora sighs in exaggerated exasperation before following her down the ramp.

“ _One_ bottle of moonshine is all I’m worth to her? I’m hurt,” Sara manages to say as she tries to scramble to her feet with some manner of dignity. Her success is mixed at best, but at least she manages to get the words out in the correct order.

“I’m told it packs a punch.” Suvi looks at her curiously, mouth quirked and eyes weighing her as though she is now the subject of calculation.

“Noted, and... thanks.” She can feel an unwelcome heat rising to her cheeks, prompting her to quickly beat the path Cora and Peebee had taken.

If you failed to maintain distance, a tactical retreat was always a sound backup plan.

Right?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you for the kudos and kind words.

“Lexi, if I have to chose between getting bitten by a dog sized creature or being shot, I’m going to take the teeth every time.”

Suvi pauses outside the med-bay door, shaking her head that _this_ is a perfectly normal conversation to overhear. Their intrepid leader already knew what she’d rather be hurt by if given a (albeit forced) choice.

Welcome to Helius indeed…

“I am inclined to agree with Ryder- though I do not know what the typical size of a dog is,” Jaal adds.

The Asari doctor decides not to grace either of them with any response beyond a tired sigh. Suvi takes the last step towards the doors, watching as they open to leave her standing unintentionally in the way of Ryder and Jaal’s escape. The two freeze in place, looking almost sheepish in front of her.

“You asked me to come down, Lexi? Is everything alright?”

“Sara brought you back a gift,” Lexi tells her through a smug look. Sara pales slightly and glances at Lexi in confusion. Suvi can feel a mirror of the Pathfinder’s expression on her own face.

“I did?”

“She did?”

Lexi throws Sara a scolding glare before picking up a small metal tray, passing it to Suvi.  “Wraith teeth. Freshly pried out of her armour _and_ her bicep. I’m sure Professor Herik will light up like a human child at Christmas if you bring them to him when you’re done studying them yourself.”

All at once Suvi’s mind runs off in two entirely different directions. The teeth offer a multitude of new opportunities- physical samples could do so much more than mere scans. Tests she could run on them immediately begin formulating in her head, but the way that the teeth came into her hands… A twist in her gut insists that she would turn away from all possibilities the teeth afforded her if it meant the wounds hidden under Ryder’s shirt ceased to be. Or, better yet, had never been inflicted at all.

Maybe it wasn’t her mind running on two trains of thought then… Maybe her brain was going one way and her emotions were taking off in another.

“See, Lexi, if I hadn’t knocked Jaal and I over that ledge we would have brought back bullets instead, and those aren’t useful for studying,” Sara tries cheekily.

“Don’t push it, Ryder.” Despite the slight glower, the corner of Lexi’s lips twitch upward before she effectively dismisses them all, returning to her desk. Ryder gives Suvi a quick gesture to follow as they beat a hasty exit.

Jaal bids a polite farewell once they are clear, encouraging Ryder to take care of herself before making his way towards the cargo bay.

“Are you alright?” Suvi asks quietly. She and Ryder remain in the hallway, her feet not wanting to lead but Ryder seeming to want to follow.

“I’m okay. It probably won’t even scar. The bite doesn’t crack a top ten list of injuries I’ve come to Lexi with since we got here. She fusses because she cares.” Ryder means it to be assuring, says it with an almost airy tone and a shrug, but all Suvi hears is that _this_ case might not be so bad, but there were plenty of other times it was.

“Did you want to go out sometime?”

Suvi barely has time to register the question before Ryder brings her hands up in a desperate waving off motion and rushes on. “Did you want to go out _there_! Havarl. Lots of plants and rocks and Remnant tech and the Angaran scientists have equipment set up that is _so_ amazingly different from ours and you could probably work up some molecular models from the scans and-”

“ _Ryder_ , slow down.”

Ryder nods, eyes dancing away. “I know it probably seems dumb to say we’ll keep you safe when you’re holding a tin of teeth I brought back embedded in my armour, but this side of Pelaav _is_ pretty safe. Or at least as safe as anything gets. We can make sure that you get further than ten feet away from the Tempest.”

“Why’d you say ‘more than ten feet?’”

There are a lot of questions she wants to pose to Ryder in this moment, but that is the easiest one. Also, the one that’s least likely to send the girl on another breathless deluge of words.

“I read your report to Doctor Aridana,” Ryder answers unsurely.

“You _read_ that?”

Ryder’s cheeks tinge slightly. “I try to at least glance at most of the things coming in and out that I get cc’d on… It seemed right for me to try to stay informed and not just rubber stamp everything. I know including me on emails is mostly a formality but... was I wrong to?”

“Not at all, but this explains what you do when you’re never sleeping.”

“Oh, there’s never nothing for me to do,” Sara shrugs lightly. “According to Tann I’m neglecting a lot of my ‘perhaps less exciting, but no less important’ duties as Pathfinder.”

“Well you certainly don’t spend enough time drafting moral boosting messages to send out in mass emails.” Sara grins as Suvi continues. “Your concern for your image is also lacking, performing menial tasks in front of the masses. How dare you,” she finishes sassily, earning her a snicker from the Pathfinder. “You also have a very poor sense of prioritization, I mean you chose for us to stay on Eos and rescue a work crew even though it meant missing the opening of the Cultural Centre.”

“Oh absolutely. I can’t believe you haven’t formally requested a replacement Pathfinder yet.”

“I’ve never even thought about it,” Suvi tells her immediately, all joking instantly forgotten.

Ryder pauses for a beat. She says nothing, but her honest eyes betray her unspoken words.

_I have_.

The silence doesn’t have quite enough time to set between them before Ryder guards her expression again, though the easy and open expression she so often wears fails to reach her eyes. “Lexi wants me out of the field for at least two days,” she pauses to pout, “but after that, I can coordinate a research excursion with Cora? Make sure we take all precautions possible.”

“That would be wonderful, Ryder.”

Ryder’s lips curve slowly into a full smile, widely and without willing herself to wear it. “Okay, great. I’ll make sure to talk to her later.”

“I ought ta get back up to the bridge before Kallo thinks he’s been abandoned,” Suvi tells her, somewhat apologetically.

“I should get back to things,” Sara likewise sounds sorry in her words of parting.

“Sounds good,” Suvi says, though neither of them appear to fully believe that they want to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soon to come, Suvi contemplates our poor Pathfinder's clumsy flirting techniques as well as the fact that Ryder does indeed have a first name to use... Stay tuned...


End file.
